Laberee Leavings and Landings

My husband can always tell when I am on overload because I cling more compulsively to my tattered three-ring binder.  It is an ugly thing, but it has served me faithfully for several years as Calendar Command Central and repository of all papers-deemed-important.    Yeah, yeah, I use Google Calendar, too, but only because those little reminder pings on my phone make me feel important.  But, this binder ….. ah, it has the power of a pacifier AND a personality supplement while creating the illusion of control.  Very nice.

Well, summer has arrived and my binder bears coffee rings almost as dark as the circles under my eyes.  There is something deeply warped about a life where summer presents more challenges than a school year for a homeschool mom.

With motion discomfort bags tucked discreetly in my purse …. it begins:

John:    After yet another 4.0 semester at Penn, he will move into an apartment in NYC next week.  He will be working at two different start-up companies in Manhattan.  As soon as he finishes his projects there, he gets on a plane for Moscow where he will spend the first semester of his junior year !  We are all so proud of this guy ....

 

Nora:  After returning from Hungary, she got a job at a Philadelphia law firm to earn the money to go back to Europe this summer.  In two weeks she departs for Germany and Hungary to spend a month visiting friends.  The musical festival in Hungary will be the highlight of this trip!  Upon return she will catch her breath and move into Penn.  But, first, she graduates !!  And the truth is …..I don’t want it to end.  Homeschooling this gem has been such a blast, I’d cheerfully do it all over again.

Andy:  After summer rowing, he is Nicaragua-bound!  He has been placed with a host family and he is brushing up on his preterites.  While eager to leap into Spanish immersion, all he talks about is exploring the Mombacho volcano and catching a bull shark with his bare hands in Lake Nicaragua!  Did I mention the source of my grey hair?  This young man goes for the gusto!

 

James:   This guy will be chillin’ at day camp.  Wisely, he has accepted my Summer 20 Book Challenge (like he had a choice).  The deal? He gets his Kindle for an hour a night as long as he’s plowing through this Challenge. His counter-offer:  “As soon as I finish reading them all, I will get my Kindle for 3 hours a night, ok?”  Hmm……

 

Before the end of August Peter and I will have been twice to JFK Airport, twice to Dulles Airport and twice to Newark Airport.  The Laberees will be spread out over different continents with too many time zones differences to track.  When September comes I know I will be so very glad to see it and to settle into the rhythm of Autumn and school books and falling leaves.   Slipping into a school year is like donning a familiar all-weather coat that feels just right all of the time.  But summers?  They are for the moonstruck howlings of a homeschool mom on hold.




 

My Middle School Math Salvation

It only took ten years, but I finally found a tool for my homeschool which has redeemed the daily middle school math lesson.  Yeah...I'm the slow student!  I've been doing middle school math for 10 years.  That's right, I am on student #4 and now....NOW, I find this little miracle.

My soon-to-be-middle schooler has had this singular problem with his math:  He can't keep the numbers lined up and so he can't get the right answers.  It takes patience and a steady eye and hand to work through 4721.005839 divided by 76.985 in an orderly enough way to get the right answer. This is his weakness.  It affects every area of his math.

I tried many things.  I have drawn vertical lines on his copybooks.  I have tried standard graph paper.  I also tried printing out larger graph paper, but that just added another delay to getting on with the daily math lesson and I could never keep track of the loose papers.

This product below has made ALL of the difference in the world.  We've been using this copybook for a week now and a magical transformation has occurred !

I found it on Amazon.  Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1497381479/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Because the graph squares are 1/2" he can space out the numbers properly.  (He could not do this with standard graph paper - the cells were too small.)   Because it is a copybook, his daily work is not strewn all over the house and he can easily refer back to a problem he did a few days before for reference.

The greatest outcome has been with attitude - both his and mine!  He feels so good about getting the answers right and I can finally heap on the praise.  He's always been able to understand the math but dysgraphia has made it very difficult for him to get the answers right.  He just couldn't line things up.

What a difference this had made!

We finished Singapore 6 in March and I was planning to repeat it next year.  While he fully understood everything we did in Singapore 6, he still got the answers to so many problems wrong. I thought repeating the curriculum was best, but I was wrong.   The problem has been his inability to line up the numbers and this new copybook proved it.   We've moved on to Pre-Algebra and it is going swimmingly well all because of this discovery of a 1/2 " graph paper copybook.

Today, I actually looked forward to our daily math lesson.  Afterward, he was beaming. 

Hallelujah.

If you have math mishaps of the type described above, maybe this tool can help you?

Peace !

Homeschooler's Guide to the Middle School Galaxy

This post is for the many, many homeschool families who ask me about the middle school years and how best to prepare for high school when a competitive college admission is the ultimate goal.

I've met many parents of middle school students who feel stranded.  They want to be prepared for the high school years that are skulking around the corner.  They want to get this right, but they're unsure.   School administrators, grandparents, and well-meaning friends offer  "do this, do that" sound bites.  But, inertia and uncertainty prevail.

There are two distinct phases of home education, after the elementary years wind down: The Interrogatory Phase (middle school) and the Execution Phase (high school).

It is in the Interrogatory Phase that you learn what you will be doing in the Execution Phase.  The Execution Phase is a terribly busy time and as the name implies, you are putting into action all of the plans you made in the late middle school years.  If you wait until high school to ask the important questions, you will find yourself bogged down, confused, and feeling rather ineffective.

What happens in the Interrogatory Phase other than school?

                                                         Figure out your kid

What does my student love best and where does he/she excel?   For example:  Does she like to build things?  Is he quick with his math?  Does she read above grade level?  Can he write better than most boys his age?  Do topics in science, music, art, or history hold her attention more?

It might seem like a lot to know about your student but if you pay close attention to your days, the answers are there.  Your goal is to get an academic lock on your student and know his strengths, weaknesses, and special interests.  Pay attention to your student's skill set and talents.  These are the headwaters from which good things can flow.

                                                                      Test

For an objective "stock-taking", you'll need to test. I am not a big advocate of testing, especially in elementary school, but by middle school you really need to get a fix on how your student measures up against the general population.  We are not very good scorekeepers for our own kids.

(There are many online resources for testing your student in the privacy of your home, if you prefer.  A google search will reap a harvest of them.) 

1.  You can have your older middle school student take the PSAT or the SAT.  Scores prior to 9th grade are purged - no one but you will ever see them.  You don't have to get upset with low scores here because you will adjust down for his/her age.  For example, if your 7th grade student has an SAT math score of 500 - you should be very encouraged; that is quite good for that grade level.

2.  There is also a test called the SSAT (not administered by the College Board).  The SSAT is similar in shape to the SAT, is geared toward the middle school student, and it will give you a projected SAT score, depending on the age of your student when he takes this test.  The SSAT is a personal favorite of mine.

What does this testing accomplish?
1. You will have a reality check.
2. You will know where you need to concentrate your efforts.
3. If your student has real strength in one area, it will be revealed and you may have a ticket to gifted learning programs.
4. Since all of these achievement exams are (at minimum) 3 hours long, your student will know ahead of time what it feels like to sit through this endurance test.  Better your kid do this before it counts than do it for the first time when it really does count.

                                                             Preparedness

Is my student ready for high school?  Is he ready to work hard?  Does she know how to manage her time?  Does he know why he needs to do all of this work?  Are we on the same page?    

Most students do not know what they want to do with their lives.  But, they should still have goals. Without goals, how will you get them to study into the late hours of the night and on weekends when that time/need arrives.  It is very hard to push a kid who does not have a shared vision of excellence and achievement.  To instill this desire in your student, he must see the goal(s).  You should do college tours.  It might sound foolish to traipse across the campus of Columbia University with a middle school student - it is not.  Pick a beautiful day, travel without time constraint on a day when classes are in session, jump in to an organized tour or just walk the campus and hang in the nearby eateries to get a sense of the intellectual energy and excitement that you will find everywhere.   If you can get your student excited about attending ONE college, ANY college, then you are on the "go" square of the game board.  You can build goals from there.  Without this, you will find yourself parroting admonitions which will fall on deaf ears.  A student needs a tangible goal, especially if no particular career goal is present.  Invest in your student's enthusiasm.

Does my middle school student even KNOW what hard work looks like?

This is critically important.  Your daughter might view 20 math problems per week as punitive.  Your son might think that a weekly 250 word essay is pure torture.  Most middle school students need to calibrate what they think is hard work to what hard work actually is. They need good models.  Middle school students who want to land in a competitive college need to meet other students with similar goals..  Your job is to find them. The homeschool community is filled with success stories.  Find the families who have high-achieving kids.  Ask them what they did.   If your 12 year old son or daughter sits down with a 21 year old who has a proven academic track record and they hear it straight from the source, they will never forget it.  It is golden.
To find peers, try to get your middle school student into one high-achieving program, whether online or through your local community.

                                                        From Ideas to Action Plans

During the Interrogatory Phase of the middle school years you should try out different things.  This takes time but it is worth it.   If math seems to come easy, find a math club.  If your student loves science, do science fairs.  If writing is at the top of the list, find contests and competitions to enter.  Your goal is to get some traction.  Once that happens you will see real progress. Advice for mom - get on numerous homeschool discussion loops and scour the digests from these groups nightly.  This is how you learn about cool, local opportunities.  You will  have to make a regular investment of time to do this research.  Here is a terrific website with lists and lists of competitions in science, art, history, math, computers and writing. A good place to start -  http://cty.jhu.edu/imagine/resources/competitions/index.html
This list includes a good number of competitions for middle school students.

If a student is preparing to compete for something  - anything - he will be more focused.  Then you (mom) can reverse-engineer your school year around this event.  Big events like these actually ADD structure to your year.

                                                           Plan, Plan, Plan Some More

Once you have gathered up activities, events and competitions, you are one easy step away from creating a calendar for the year with clear goals mapped out.  Keep going with this.  Do a hypothetical 4-year high school plan.  Involve your middle school student in this.    Of course, this plan is going to morph.  But if you have no plan at all, you are bound to fall short of a high standard.

                                                                Broaden Horizons

A desire to achieve and the determination to do hard things  won't come out of thin air.  You need to nurture it.  There are wonderful educational events run by Learning Unlimited throughout the year.  Middle school students can take exciting classes on the campuses of some of the best universities in the country for as little as $30 for a full weekend of amazing courses.  No grades are given.  University students volunteer to teach. Often a middle school student discovers an entire field of science or language they did not even know existed. Inspiration is everywhere.  Do this!  Do it as often as you can.
http://www.learningu.org/current-programs  Get on the mailing list.  Have it on your calendar.  The MIT and Yale programs are especially good.

                                                                Your Leadership

Many years ago a homeschool family asked to meet with me.  Mom and dad could not get their kids to read books. They wanted advice.  Most home educating families know that in order to be poised for the academic world kids need to read  - a lot.  They need to read hard stuff and they need to read often.  These parents were worried.  Their kids did not have dyslexia or ADHD. They were neurotypical kids.  "Why can't we get them to read?" they lamented.    I asked them what they (mom and dad) were currently reading, looking high and low for a sign of books.  "We don't read, we don't have time for it."  Hmm.

The prescription is simple.  Kids will read more if you have a set reading time and lead by example.  Kids will also read in the absence of other forms of entertainment and if most table top surfaces hold a small stack of interesting books.

If your middle school kids are glued to glowing rectangles, have technology free hours built into the day and have good books ready to fill the gap.  It is harder now than it ever was before to encourage kids to read books.  The glowing screens hold far more appeal.  We cannot extricate ourselves from these devices entirely but we can claim back a few hours a day - this is a reasonable goal.  Lead the way on this.

                                               ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

The middle school years are a period of intense mentorship.  It is during these years that you can establish that you and your student are on the same team.  The road to excellence is arduous, but it is made easier when the prize is clear, the goals are reasonable, and your leadership is obvious. You got this !   Godspeed !

Homeschool Whistleblowers and the Religious Thought Police

Home educators are perhaps the most mystifying group of people on the planet.  We are all dissenters of one kind or another.  Some flat-out reject mass education, others feel their special-needs kids cannot be served well, and many fear negative socialization, violence and bullying.  But the majority of home educators do the arduous work of schooling at  home for religious reasons.  These families were the pioneers decades ago who blazed the trail for the rest of us.   Most of mainstream America cannot fathom why sane parents would choose to spend every day and night with their kids.  The whole world thinks we are weird.  That's our burden to bear.  Thanks to this article, our job just got a little harder:
http://prospect.org/article/homeschool-apostates

Ms. Joyce begins her attack on Christian Fundamentalist home educators by telling a shocking tale of a young adult woman who is basically held hostage in her home by a mentally ill mother. For her to imply that this is emblematic or typical of home education is disingenuous at best.  It is a lousy introduction to what is an otherwise informative essay.

A few clarifications - I am not a fundamentalist, but I am a Christian, and I've home schooled for 15 years. We home school for academic excellence.   I've met hundreds and hundreds of home school families, most of them Christian.  It is safe to say no two families are alike.  As a population home educators are practically impossible to categorize.  We defy generalizations.  Not knowing any better, Kathryn Joyce stubbornly tries to categorize home educators but only succeeds carrying out a crazy witch hunt..  This is so regrettable because she does unveil other important issues - issues that merit more discussion.  But, the most worthy aspects of her essay are buried in her own bigotry.  More on this later.....

As mentioned, the most conspicuous flaw in this essay is found on the launch pad - the author devotes the first few paragraphs to the awfully sad,  extraordinary, and rather dreadful circumstances of Jennifer's schism with her parents.  News flash:  Correlation does not imply causation!  Jennifer's parents are a little nuts. Home school or not, these parents eventually would have been a force for poor Jennifer (and Lauren) to deal with.

After Kathryn Joyce primes the pump with this theatrical opening, she proceeds to throw many people and organizations (all of them conservative Christian in scope and sequence) right under the "religious-thought-police bus".  She has sat behind the wheel of this buggy for many years, but she seems only to steer toward Christians, cheerfully eager to plow them down.   She is a bigot and she is barreling around in the bigot bus, targeting Christian initiatives with all of the zealotry she seems to detest in others.

There are many ways she could have addressed some of the valid issues that exist in very conservative Christian home school circles.  An even-handed approach would have borne more fruit.  For example, this article would be more plausible, if it had included a discussion of what the Amish are taught in their homes and churches.  Additionally, if Ms. Joyce is truly concerned about what children are learning outside of this nation's state conditioning centers, she really should have included a discussion of ultra conservative Judaism, which is most analogous to the very conservative fundamentalist Christian. For example, in conservative orthodox Judaism, marriages are often determined by parents and it is frequently a financial arrangement.  Boys and girls are taught separately.  They are opposed to viewing secular movies and reading secular newspapers.  They are told to be fruitful and multiply.  This sounds like just the thing to get Ms. Joyce's knickers twisted, but she does not talk about them or other groups.

Kathryn Joyce is deeply interested in religious liberty.  Well, why doesn't she focus on the oppression of young Muslim girls?  Here, a storehouse of great exposés await her golden pen.  Imagine the good she could do by raising awareness of the ocean of brutality and subjugation in the extreme forms of this religion.   Instead she spends her time accusing Christians of evil-doing when they rescue children through adoption. Better those children should die slow and painful deaths from infection, neglect and abuse, right, Kathryn?  Anything would be better than having them cared for by Christians.

Also, I cannot  help but wonder why Kathryn Joyce did not give any space in her article to talk about the amazing achievements of home educated students.  It is a glaring omission.  It robs her thesis of integrity.

The Homeschool Apostates (the title of her essay) gave voice to a growing group of young adults who feel they were robbed of a normal childhood.  This is a terrible thing - a heart breaking outcome.  I am glad these young people have found each other and have a public forum for airing their grievances. Their parents may wish they had done things differently.  Many parents do and most of them did not home school.  But, I had no idea that there were homeschool recovery groups, and it was deeply challenging to read the personal stories of so many young adults on these homeschool refugee websites.  It is important to read how things can go sideways - it doesn't only happen in school families - it happens in homeschool families, too.   I am glad that Kathryn Joyce put these websites out there. Together, all of these recovery stories present a complete manual on what NOT to do if you plan to home educate.  Ideally, some of these stories would make it into the "new homeschooler info packet".

I do not want to detract from the stories of these defectors.  However, much larger than this apostate group (by several million) are the public forums for young adults who wish their parents had rescued them from a hellish existence in school.

Here's the thing - some conservative Christian families do go over board in my opinion.  I know families who do not allow their teens to date and where the "Master of the House" dad is viewed as an overlord.  There are some families who meddle constantly in their children's lives and who smother them with rules.  Some have a highly flawed approach to academics.  But, at the end of the day, this is no more my business than is the neighbor's kid who gets on a big, yellow bus every day and who at the age of 12 still cannot read.

Kathryn Joyce seems very alarmed by the fact that home education puts most control into the hands of parents.  Who else should have control over our children's lives - the marauding, predatory, minions in Washington?  It is obvious that this author wants everyone to have the same life views.  Yes, a mob of automatons would be a manageable mob.  Hmmmm.  Don't you wonder what Kathryn Joyce really wants?

In this article, she was trying to get at some of the flaws in home education but her hostility toward Christians derailed her effort.  Hate is a terrible burden to bear.  Ultimately, I think this author degrades herself with her evident hatred of Christians and the result is a lack of imagination in her research.

As the World Turns....for Labereelings

Another school year has grabbed me by the wrists, yanking me from one hour to the next, from one to-do list to the next.  Yet the days are not as jarring as they once were, now that there are just 2 young men to educate.  It should be so much easier and in some small ways it is.  But with John and Nora both living outside of the Laberee home, I have discovered a strange foe - an itinerant spirit.  My own heart has become part nomad, wandering through the house, through their rooms, and through the well-trodden alleys of my own mind searching for them and needing to engage them on some pressing matter, both out of habit and for the love of it all.  For the love of them.

An update on the fearless foursome:

John is starting his sophomore year at UPenn and rowing varsity ... for one of the top 10 college crew teams in the country.  Yeah, I'm just a little proud.  He's taking courses in Russian (that is, they are taught in Russian!) and he is enjoying history, psych, and more.  Oh, and a part-time job. Hope he takes those vitamins I sent!

Nora is in Hungary where she is taking her senior year of high school and a full load of classes, taught in Hungarian, of course.  She reports that it is tiring beyond description but she is enjoying her host family, the beauty of Hungary, the cool weather, her jaunts into Austria and her new friends.   She has already been interviewed by Hungarian television because of the essay she wrote describing why she wanted to go the Hungary.  She talked about the Hungarian story called "The White Stag".  It was a hit!   Do I miss her?  Well, I step into her bedroom every morning and spray a little of her perfume around the house.  Then, the rooms smell glorious, and I feel like she is near. Yeah, that says it all.

                 In Austria .... I think the Alps are behind her? Sooo proud of this cool customer.


Andy is enjoying his new role .... he always gets a front seat in the car and has seniority these days.  He began the school year with a party in Boston with friends he made while at Brown University this past summer.  With three AP classes, a course at Stanford's OHS, and a move up to varsity rowing, he has come to fully appreciate simple things like good sleep, good food, good coffee, and down-time.  He started strong this year and shows no signs of slowing down!

Hanging with some pals this past weekend.

And James has turned into a fanatical reader!  He consumes 2 books per week, minimum, but often 3.   All of the kids have been avid readers, but James has actually out-read his sibs when they were 10.  He has a very busy year with continued study of Latin, Mythology and Ancient History in our Classics Club, in addition to weekly fishing, art class, golf clinics, and one afternoon per week on a farm.  I can promise that getting muddy,while chasing goats and pigs, will be his favorite time of the week.  He was accepted into the Gifted Learning Program for middle schoolers at Northwestern University and will be taking some of his classes online this year, for the first time (!)

I don't think a day goes by that Peter and I don't marvel at how good God has been to us and to our family.  It is a great privilege to partner with our kids in life this way.  It is a great blessing to serve.

"As for me and my house....we will serve the Lord."   Joshua 24:15

Time ...

"...and time for all the works and days of hands, that lift and drop a question on your plate..."
T. S. Eliot

My home school years lurch one after the other, engulfing all of my faculties for months on end such that I hardly have time to look closely at the strange reflection staring back at me from that heartless mirror, and so I do occasionally give a gasp at how time has salted my hair and how it tugs without pity on all corners of my face.

I don't mind being surprised by the slithering, skulking, treachery of my own inevitable decline. Time does what time does.  The lines on my face are not what bother me about passing time. It is the perfidious nature of the deeds of time that brings me to my knees.  Time is a shameless charlatan.

When we decided to home educate, we knew we would not miss any of the milestones - we had reserved a front row seat in each of children's lives.  Every year, Peter and I acknowledge that when we are sharing a park bench quietly, many years from now, we will never ever regret the extra time we have had with each of them.  It is why we keep doing it.  That, and the fact that it's so darn right in every way.

So, we have given our time and it has been so right.

With great clarity, I can recall the look in each of their eyes when they cracked the code and took off with reading.  The daily casual breakfasts followed by rapid-fire discussions of current events, the palpable satisfaction for an essay well-written and the relief at completing a science project - with all of these things time lures me in, allowing me to imagine that the four of them have a place in my life that will never change and that I have an unchanging place in theirs.  No.  They all have very bright futures, that's for sure, but futures where mom and dad move to the background.  While we work hard to guide and nurture, ensuring success when that moment of separation arrives, we are completely flabbergasted when it all goes well, and they walk off into the sunset.

I have not experienced anything that so thoroughly unhinges and yet is a good thing.

With John back at Penn and Nora in Eastern Europe, I am unmoored.  Floating through the days, I realize that time has played a mephitic trick on me.  I thought things would never change.  I thought that we would be ushering in every Autumn together, every Winter, Spring and Summer, too.

But time has proved me very silly indeed.

Although I am temporarily stumped, Sir Time, I do not intend to change my ways, because, in the end, I really do win.

"So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom."  Psalm 90:12

What does allergy research have in common with home education?

More than you'd think.

Most home school families believe that the old-fashioned way of learning works best.  They have turned their backs on government schools and the 'latest and greatest' trends in order to keep it simple, solid, stable and superior.

It is all too easy to get pulled in by enormous shifts in thinking and too few of us question the received wisdom of those in the education business.  

What does this have to do with allergies?  Read on ...

Recently, I was reading about the history of allergy research.  Important to note - nineteen years ago when I gave birth to my first, I was warned by doctors to keep him off solid food until he was one, especially peanuts and to be careful about what I ate, too.   Science had concluded that the staggering increase in peanut and dairy allergies in the US and the UK had to do with introducing these things too early in the infant diet.   Newsflash - they no longer think this.  

The new focus of allergy study is on the immune system, solely.  Here is the most interesting thing.  They are getting some intriguing and challenging information by examining people with (for lack of a better term) "hyper-hygiene" habits.  That is, they wash their hands A LOT, they use hand sanitizer A LOT, and they take anti-biotics A LOT.   Frequently, these also happen to be the folks with the worst allergies.    The conclusion is that through the hyper-hygiene trend, we have ruined our immune system by not allowing enough nasty stuff to pass through us.  Newsflash - a little dirt won't hurt.  In fact, it might help.  

I had a good chuckle when I was reading this.  Those who know me know that I am not terribly fussy about these things.  If one of my kids should drop his apple on the ground and then pick it up to continue eating it, I don't care much.  If  the youngest plays outside for 2 hours and runs in to woof down a piece of pizza without washing his hands, I don't bark.  Although I prefer clean hands, many years ago I had concluded that despite the fact that I did not insist on hyper-hygiene, my kids were actually sick much less often than the average kid.  So, I stopped fretting.  My two older boys row on the Cooper River many days out of the year and, yes, occasionally they fall in.  In this river, they've seen dead animals float by and other unmentionables.  No big deal.  They don't flip out.  My oldest use to put large Madagascar Roaches on his tongue .... for the fun of it.  It never really bothered me.  

So it looks like the world is coming full-circle when it comes to how we should live.  Maybe having dirt under our fingernails will be the "new cool"?  Maybe eating the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that sat in the car for 3 days will be advisable ...perhaps even prescribed?  As someone who generally ignores expiration dates, this puts a spring in my step.

This "hyper hygiene connection" to allergies is a fascinating idea, though.  I am very blessed - I do not suffer from allergies nor do any of my kids.  But just in my own life-span I have seen allergies skyrocket and this explanation makes sense from an environmental and evolutionary perspective. (Oh, and I do like that it conveniently fits the choices I've made....big smile.)

Back to home education ....what is the connection?  Well, it turns out that earthlings do not need a wildly over-engineered, complicated set of rules to live by.  Keep it simple.  Don't be afraid to be out of step with the mob.  Learning has not changed, but the so-called experts want us all to believe that it is hocus-pocus hard.    Books + inspiration = learning.  That's all.   Science is gathering evidence that hyper-hygiene is ruining our immune systems .  Our immune systems already know how to do the job naturally, without all the contrived help we offer.  Likewise, you already possess all of the skills to get a thorough education, for yourself and your kids, without all of the contrived help you are offered.

The Educational Ecosystem

I overheard this striking aphorism the other day; words spoken by one battle-weary parent to another:
"You are only as happy as your saddest child."
Wow.  Think on that.  It packs a punch.  Those of us with multiple kids know - we are buoyed up by one child's success only to be brought down by the other's struggle.  At the end of the day, the plight of the troubled child is the last thought, the last words in our sleepy prayers for answers... for guidance.

This got me thinking about the ecosystem of families.  No family event, no family issue, arises in isolation.  Everything touches and changes everyone.   In nature if you take away something as simple as ants or bees, it can cause a collapse on a grand scale.  Correspondingly, the tragic tendrils of one child's misery can reach into every corner of family life, challenging even the most casual kitchen conversations. As parents, educators, providers, and cruise directors, we have to strike an absurd balance here.  Specifically, the task is to maximize the well-being of all family members so the ecosystem infrastructure does not rupture and so that all thrive. (This is the ancestral birthplace of heartfelt prayer!)

Thankfully, families have the ultimate superglue - love.  Love finds solutions where all else fails.  But, it is a formidable task, nevertheless.

If you think family ecosystems are complex, what of educational ecosystems?  Is a class only as good as its worst student?  Is a course only as effective as its least contributing, least interested student?  Maybe.

Ask any teacher and they will eagerly describe their trials and tribulations in the classroom.  If they have students who don't want to learn or who are disruptive, little can be done.  Like a drought or a monsoon on fertile fields, uncooperative students change everything:  the classroom atmosphere, the speed with which material can be covered, the teacher's mood, the motivation of the other students, and, of course, the learning outcome.

It is true in public schools, private schools, and home schools.

As home educators, we have checked out of the group-learning, school model, only to desperately recreate it at every turn.  We have homeschool-schools, co-ops galore, small group learning, and clubs.  We are not immune to the educational ecosystem challenges.  With the alacrity of an inborn, genetic predisposition we rush together and embrace the new ecosystems we create and all the concomitant complexities.

The metaphorical question is - how to treat an invasive species?  In nature, if long-horned beetles are spotted in a woods, the big chemical guns come out, treatment is aggressive, and many other beneficial insects and organisms are sacrificed in an effort to spare the trees.  This is imperfect but it does save the trees.  Measures like this (metaphorical only) don't work in schools.  The goal is to educate all, control the wayward, and keep everyone there ....whether they want to be there or not.  So, the invasive species is really part of the landscape, forever.  The weeds must be welcomed.

Home educators would be foolish indeed if they became saddled with the issues germane to group education.  We need to work just as hard at striking the ecological balance in our home schools, as we do in our families.  It helps to frequently revisit why we started on this journey in the first place.  For excellence, Godliness, familial ties, and freedom of choice - when we find ourselves in grave conflict with our original vision and our educational ecosystem is unbalanced,  it is time for a change.

"Nature is full of genius, full of the divinity; so that not a snowflake escapes its fashioning hand."
Thoreau

Home Education in the News ....again.

It seems that every few months, New Jersey newspapers are destined to churn-out same old, same old articles on home schooling. Very few of the reporters take the time to dig deeply.  I think I know why.

A week ago I was contacted by a reporter who wanted to talk to someone about home education for an article he was writing.  I responded with a long and detailed email of at least 300 words.  Buried in the email were these words ...."For the record, I think that home educators should not be regulated.  Ever."  Of course, these are the only words that made it into the article.  I had no idea I was being quoted in the article, until a friend emailed me about my name appearing in it.  Imagine my surprise.  Here's a link:

http://www.courierpostonline.com/article/20130430/NEWS01/304300036/Medford-mom-do-not-think-home-educators-should-regulated-ever-?nclick_check=1

Why do we continue to have the same discussion over and over again?  When people ask if home schooling works or if it is good for kids or not, they might as well be asking if we are sure the Earth is spherical and not flat.  Lord, it really is time to move on.

This is the article that should have been written.....

When you see the Scripps Spelling Bee and the Math Counts Competitions trying to finagle ways to limit participation by home school students, you know we have succeeded.  Yes, home educated kids have to sign a special form developed by Scripps in which they promise not to study too hard or too long.  I am not kidding.  Also, a home school parent may not start or run a county level bee.  Burlington County has not had a sponsor for several years, hence NO student in Burlington County can participate in the Scripps Bee because there is no feeder bee.  I could have fixed this and offered to do the work,  but was barred from doing so because my kids do not attend the local state conditioning centers.  Huh?  Translation:  Parents and Hollywood got angry when so many home schoolers began winning at Scripps.

Math Counts has also demonstrated their respect for home educated kids by barring them from forming teams.  Why? Well, because they would then have all the smart math kids on their team.  But, when the local school puts together a team, do they choose the football players?  I think not.  They choose their best math students.  And they are permitted to do this and, of course, would be fools if they did not.  Not home school kids.  No teams permitted there.

These examples of discrimination could be viewed (by those of us who do this hard job of managing our own kid's educations) with bat-crap crazy rage, but are better viewed as an institutional bow of respect.  We win. Lots of people do not like this.

Everything the government does to interfere with parental rights leads America to greater mediocrity.

Fact:   Home education is the ONLY educational outpost of progress on this blue planet.
Fact:  The media and the political spin doctors will never stop looking for ways to maintain their tragic fiction.
Fact:  Home educated kids, regardless of their religious beliefs, are independent thinkers who will never be walking in lockstep with the masses.  They have not drunk the Kool-Aide and thus are still original thinkers.

That, my friends, is why the trite ,hackneyed, fluff articles continue to circulate.  For, as long as those who remain in the US Dept of Education trance can cast a shadow of doubt on the stunning success of the home education movement, they can continue to feel good about their own choices.

JSA - The Guts and the Glory

My high school students participate in this national debate and civics organization - The Junior Statesman Association. For over 5 years I have been driving them and many other teens to conventions and congresses, beginning with John, when he was in 8th-9th grade.   Nora has also participated for 4 years and now Andy does it too!  Exhausting?  Yes. And, I would not miss it for the world.

I have seen kids get up to debate who never thought they could do it. Since kids participate from multiple NJ high schools, I do get to see them grow from freshmen to seniors.  What a privilege it is to be able to quietly catalogue a young adult's progress on the "JSA stage".

This weekend alone I saw a home schooled, novice, first-time debater win a best speaker gavel, a home school teen earn a prestigious, elected cabinet position (making history in the national JSA organization - congratulations Angela!) and a deserving Lt Gov race turn out well!  The most inspiring part, however, is watching those who did not win - those who tried but did not get the position they wanted.  They show grace and poise and wisdom well beyond their years.

Anyone who thinks that debate club is NOT a full-contact sport - think again.  These kids are in it to win it and they give it their all.  Bravery?  I can't believe how much courage they demonstrate, gutting it out to the end.

The life lessons in JSA can never be tallied up.  In fact, they are infinite.

Every time I get ready to head out to a hotel for 2 or 3 days with a pile of teenagers, I think to myself ...."Why am I doing this?  It so hard."  But then I look at what the teens are doing at these conventions ....and, frankly, I am humbled.  Plus .... I always have so much fun!!

This is a pic of Nora with the Mid Atlantic Region Lt Gov Cole Aronson, and Chief of Staff Allison Berger. Nora is Director of Financail Aid on the Lt Gov cabinet and she's had such an exciting year working with these outstanding statesmen !!

Race to Nowhere ??

Have any of you seen this documentary?  Race to Nowhere is a film about the pressure to succeed in high school in order to gain admission to a competitive four year college. It's primary focus is on the super-testing atmosphere and the demands of AP classes and extracurricular activities on the students and their families.

I watched it twice.  Each time I came away with the same impression.  The families and students interviewed seemed utterly unprepared for the competition they were in.  My 16 year old daughter watched it and had the same impression, stating quickly that most or all of the students interviewed extensively in the movie never should have been put into the pressure-cooker in the first place.  Her words:  "These kids are not equipped for high performance and should not have been put into AP classes or told they could get into Harvard or Stanford or UC Berkely, in the first place!"  I do agree.

The problem is NOT too much homework, as the movie suggests.  The statistics bear out the opposite - most kids in high school watch 4 hours of TV per day and play video games on top of this ....daily.  The problem is one of goal setting.   For example, my youngest child is not the athletic type.  Outdoorsy - yes.  He'd much rather be outside, no shirt, playing for hours, running and carrying on.  But give him a basketball or a baseball and bat?  It is not a pretty sight.  Would I ever put this kid in a competitive sport with a ball that had to be bounced, kicked, caught or hit with a racquet?  Never.  I have different goals for him - reasonable goals for him in the realm of sports.

This same kind of reality check needs to be done all over the country, when it comes to college preparation. After I sat through this whiny vignette a second time, I asked myself why in the world these parents were doing this terrible thing to these perfectly nice kids.  I have met kids who can do 4 hours of advanced algebra without complaint and then turn to the memory work needed to prepare for five different AP exams.  They are calm, driven and gifted.  I have also met kids who are completely lost (academically) most days.  Not only are they unable to handle the intensity of AP level work while balancing other commitments, they also have no idea why they are doing it.  They lack the big picture, they are not playing to their strengths and pushing these kids up the Ivy hill is just wrong.  But, I blame the parents, not the schools for this tragic error of goal-setting.

I thought the entire move reeked of this and it could have been more aptly named ....The Injustice of  Erroneous Goals.

I found this Washington Post article illuminating:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/class-struggle/post/why-race-to-nowhere-documentary-is-wrong/2011/04/03/AFBt27VC_blog.html

The reason these kids are sick, distraught, overwhelmed and failing is that most of the parents (not all of them) were oblivious.  The parents were all watching a train wreck take place in their kid's lives because deep down inside, they want their kids to keep up when they really should have encouraged them to slow down.  Then they blamed the system, the homework, the AP classes, the unforgiving and unrelenting testing.  But, parents ALWAYS have a choice.  Parents ALWAYS have the freedom to walk away. The movie was about the 'system' so I did not expect to see much coverage of home education.  But, to not mention it even once as a viable alternative?  It was an odd omission.

Andy is in!

Filling out applications to have our homeschooled students admitted to highly competitive programs is NOT a tea-time activity.  No, you need something much stiffer than a decaf Earl Grey to get through it.   All the odds are stacked against us because we are not daily inhabitants of this strange, bureaucratic world of bubble forms, approval letters, and gratuitous  rubber-stamping.  We are a feral group with merit-driven instincts so all of the forms, forms, forms seem downright confounding.

So, imagine my surprise when my 13 year old was accepted to Stanford University's High School Program.

Delighted?  Oh, yeah.   It will demand much from him.  He will grow and he will meet peers.  I am doing cartwheels!!

Yet, every time one of my students accomplishes something big, I have a twinge of worry mixed with the pride and gratitude.  Why?  I know that home school students are pushing history.  As more kids who have never stepped into a state conditioning center accomplish great things, we risk triggering an unravelling of the myth of public education.  The closer we come to it, the more our freedom is at risk.

For now, I am toasting Andy's success and will get down to the hard work of preparing him for the challenge and figuring out a way to pay for it (!)

Nice job, Andy Vic!


My Stanford man is wearing orange below .....

Nora's hard work paying off.....

Nora received great news twice in one week!

She submitted a science project to an International Science Olympiad and it was accepted!  We are heading to Houston in May for a week of competition with students from all over the world.
The International Sustainable World Science Olympiad

Nora also heard this week that she earned her Congressional Gold Award!  She is looking forward to a day of celebrating and award presentation in June in DC.  Exciting times.
The Congressional Gold Award

It is a wonderful thing when hours of efforts and months (even years) of dedication are recognized like this.

Happy, happy!

Global Economic Summit

Yesterday, I spend the day at the Fox School of Business, Temple University, where Nora, Andy and Faye Nugent participated in the World Affairs Council Global Economic Summit.  They each assumed a role of a key player - Nora (UK), Andy (Russia) and Faye (Vietnam).  They had piles of studying to do leading up to this model Summit in order to be "experts" and to be able to voice the concerns of the nation they each represented.  Nora was a student leader.  Here is a pic of her doing her thing - a born leader, this one.

Here are Andy and Faye, getting ready to go into the afternoon plenary session.  Yes, it is surprisingly difficult to snap a picture of Andy with his eyes open.

This is a pic from the back of the room during the closing session:

This was a well-planned day.  The World Affairs Council does an excellent job and their educational programs for high school students are a valuable part of our home school.  Through them, students discover how very complex compromise is and how conflicting interests of the various stakeholders in global issues work against the progress we all seek.  Yet it must be done.   Bravo to all the students who wrested with the big issues yesterday at the Temple Fox School of Business with the Philadelphia World Affairs Council!

Why Homeschool?

After thirteen years, I do not ask myself this question any more.  But many others ask me this question.  In fact, if I had a dollar for every person who has asked me "why?" in the past decade, my family might be able to take a vacation on the earnings.

This article in the Courier Post sums it up nicely:
 http://www.courierpostonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2012312090019

But, there's still more to it. My results are good, so far, this is true.  My kids are well-balanced.  They know how to think and rarely accept being told what to think, either by the talking heads on TV or the talking heads they meet in life.  They possess intellectual tenacity.  But, more importantly, because they have each had ownership in their education, they are stakeholders in their own futures.  Things don't merely happen to them.  They have to allow it, they have to endorse it, they have to be part of the plan.  Each one of my kids notices how the children and young adults in the state conditioning centers move in unison when bells ring or when they get some group communication about the commencement or conclusion of a particular activity and it utterly creeps them out.  Of course, I always point out the necessity of these management tools and they understand this, but it is a cold comfort.   My kids think that the faces of the ocean of brick and mortar school kids are vacant as they are absently pushed along by the group, without knowing what they are doing or why they are doing it.

Regardless of what happens in world politics - fiscal cliffs, Arab Springs, advances in forensics anthropology - my students have informed opinions to share.   And it is their own unique thoughtful position, not what a government school has taught them to think.

It is difficult to find this kind of intellectual development in most adults.

It is golden.

I haven't drunk the Kool-Aide and I always sound like a crackpot to those who have.  It is a useful litmus test for me.